Trust

"We never do anything well till we cease to think about the manner of doing it."

-William Hazlitt

"Let go and let God" is one of the catchphrases of a 12 step program. For me this is a difficult one - I'm a bit of a control freak and feel that to take responsibility for my actions I must study and think long and hard about everything that I do. This quote and this catchphrase remind me that I have to stop thinking about it and just do it. I have to get out of my own way and let my Higher Power run the show - do the overthinking  for me. 

Does that mean I don't think before I act? No not at all, it just means that once I've giving it thought and prayer and meditation - then I have to just go ahead and do what I feel led to do. I can't let myself become frozen in thought which I often do. I want to control the outcome of my every decision and action and that just isn't practical - it isn't going to happen. I can't control what happens around me - just my reaction to what happens.

Back when I was in college, the sportswear company Nike had an advertising campaign based on the phrase "Just Do It". I had a professor who told us many times that this is good advice in most things in our lives. That struck me back than and even now - I often remind myself to "Just Do It" or I won't get anything done at all.

There comes a time in our lives that we need to stop thinking and just do and that is when we give it over to our Higher Power - that moment when we give in to the action and stop thinking about it is when we submit and give it over. I've done my part and I've made the decision to give it over to the Universe - to my Higher Power - to trust that things will work out the way I expect or even more importantly the way they are supposed to. That is what giving it over to my Higher Power means to me - Trust. 

Trusting in the outcome that should be rather than the one i expect or want.

I've not been trusting my Higher Power for the last month or so - I've been trying to run the show myself. I've managed to stay abstinent, but I've not been working the program so growth and weight loss have slowed. I feel discontent and at odds with myself and that is when I know I'm in trouble. Instead of working the steps and connecting with my Higher Power I've been trying to do it on my own and the cravings have returned. 

So today I recommit to my Higher Power and I give my struggle with food over to Her - I give my daily life over to Her and I ask for Her guidance and strength as I work toward a healthy weight and healthy relationship with food. I work on trusting in the Universe that all will work out as it should even if it's not as I might expect or like it to be.