a mixed bag of emotions

Wow, I'm feeling such an overwhelming number of mixed emotions this morning. Yesterday was a very powerful day, but also very sad for me. It was also uplifting and filled with glorious blessings. I'm feeling pulled in many different directions all by what is going on inside of me.

I visited my friend in hospice yesterday. There were a number of us there to help support her and help her on to the next stage in her journey. The room was filled with love and acceptance, joy, hope and also pain and sadness. It was a blessed event and I am so honored to have been invited to be a part of it. My dear friend was surrounded and supported by love and it was beautiful to see.

As wonderful and powerful as it was - there was still a sense of sadness that soon my friend will have moved on and will no longer be present with us in the same way. I'm feeling mixed emotions. I'm sad for myself and those around me who will be affected by her leaving this plane of existence, but I'm feeling peaceful and almost happy that she is going to be moving on in her journey to the next step -something new and exciting for her to experience.

I lost my little boy 7 years ago now and while in my friend's presence and surrounded by all the love uniting us and her I was struck by the thought that he would be waiting for her on the other side. I don't know why this thought came to me - perhaps he wanted me to know that he would be there to look out for her and help her in her journey. It was a connection that I felt to both of them.

Now that I've visited her once, I feel the need to spend more time with her. Admittedly it was shocking to see such a change in her, but it wasn't as painful as I'd anticipated. She's still the beautiful, wonderful person she always was and her spirit, though not completely present, is filled with love and light as it always was. I'll miss her, I'm surprised by how much, but I'm truly feeling blessed that I got to know her and I'm blessed to be with her as she makes this journey. I just hope that I have in some small way helped her along and shown her and those around her unconditional love of some sort.