Impatience

"Time ripens all things.

No man's born wise."

Miguel de Cervantes

from For Today published by Overeaters Anonymous Inc.

Growth takes time, but just like a little kid who can't wait to be a grownup I'm impatient. I want enlightenment NOW! I stamp my foot like a child in the middle of tantrum, wanting to have my payout before the work.

As long as I work the steps and do the work I will see the results, but in my Higher Power's time, not my own. Would I like to be thinner now? Hell yes! But.....there is obviously more I need to learn from being in this larger body. Do I have to like it? Not necessarily, but it helps to find gratitude for the journey I'm on right here and now.

Take time to stop, pause and appreciate the moment. I will never have this moment again and though I may not like all of it, there is always something to be thankful. I'm thankful that this body has taught me to slow down and learn my own limitations. I often try to do things I'm not ready for and end up hurting myself or others. Having this body has made me pause and think before I act - is this necessary? Am I really capable or do I have more to learn, do, etc before I can accomplish this task. One example of this is that I really want to hike in the mountains, my dream is to backpack on the Appalachian Trail here in Maine. Right now at 100 pounds overweight, with poor cardiovascular health and very little strength this would be a really bad idea, but with time, weight loss, conditioning, and building strength it is something I can accomplish. A rudimentary example, but a good one nonetheless. 

So today I will appreciate the journey, my ability to even be on the path of recovery and health. I will be thankful for the moment and I will relax and let things happen in their own time.