I'm pagan - I lean toward the nature worshipper/shaman/druid side of paganism if you are looking for a label or two. I believe much of life and many of the things I do in it are ritual of a sort. Knitting, spinning, listening to music, cooking, etc. all have their places in my spirituality. I try very hard to be mindful in the things I do because that mindfulness opens me up to gratitude which helps open me up to the Divine in all things. That is my religion - love, hope and gratitude.
I've had a very varied and personal spiritual journey and I do not regret any of it. I'm where I am now and who I am now because of the various spiritual paths I have journeyed for a time. I've explored my spirituality publicly and privately, though recently my journey has been very solitary.
I've had the distinct pleasure, in the last month or so, to join some other very special people in public ritual on a couple of occasions. I used to be part of a wonderful group of people in community and I drifted away from them and until I had the chance to spend some time with them again, I hadn't realized how much I missed being part of a community.
I miss my friend Jenn terribly, but I wouldn't change a moment of the past year we had together. Not only was I lucky enough to reconnect with her, but I was welcomed into and became part of a wonderful community of folks who came together to support her and each other as she journeyed toward death. Now she has moved on and some of us have found ways to support each other and celebrate her.
I miss her and I still hurt, but I'm so very grateful that Jenn came back into my life and reminded me how important community is. Not only that, but she showed me that I'm worthy of being part of a community - I do have something to offer. If nothing else I have hope and love to share.
I miss celebrating the Divine with a group of like minded people. I miss learning about myself and my surroundings with others. I miss teaching through my experience and self. Perhaps it's time for me to find some time for myself to spend with others again. Maybe it's time to slowly begin to allow myself to trust.