Tuesday, August 27, 2013

a new beginning (there are lots of those in my life)

A new me means a new blog......Yep, I'm on a journey of self discovery, I have been for a few years now. My last post on my other blog was in July of 2010, it's now August of 2013. A lot has changed.

I'm really not focused on the same things anymore - a lot of that journey was surpassed by a journey through mental and physical illness. I've worked hard to get past both and I'm discovering a new, healthier, hope filled me - hence the name of this blog - which could change by the way.

The purpose of this blog is to just share where I'm at, what I'm learning, how I'm doing and what I'm up to. Not many will be interested, but being able to write things down makes them more real for me so I'm taking this journey to a blog. I don't know how often I'll post - when I can - when I feel inspired - when something is on my mind. I'll write about a lot of different things and I'll try - as my friend Jenn says - to keep it real.

My journey has not been an easy one - the last couple of years have really shown me what I'm made of and I'm much stronger than I think. I'm far from the perfect person. I'm lazy, I have a short temper, and I can be a little selfish, but I'm also kind, compassionate, loving and I try desperately to be a good wife, mother and me.

I've been living my life in a larger body for a long time now and after the work I've done spiritually and mentally, I decided not too long ago to work on the physical as well. In keeping with a holistic approach, I'm walking a 12 step program to work toward a healthier body weight. I attend meetings in person once or twice a week and often attend on line meetings to keep myself on track. My abstinence is very important to me - I'm a food addict and compulsive overeater, so I need to be honest with myself in every way - mentally, physically and spiritually. I've had some success so far - 27 pounds down. I'm pretty proud of myself. I'll share this part of my journey here as well.

I will probably talk about my family a lot - my life is really focused on them to be honest. I have a wonderful loving husband - my soulmate and partner, a 15 year old teenaged son and a 10 year old daughter who is going on 40. They are my world in many ways, but I try to take care of myself so I can be a better wife and mother. I homeschool my two kids - right now we've been unschooling for the last few years, but we are considering something more structured per the advice of my therapist and the kids' therapists. Yep - we are a family that believes in therapy. I've been in therapy for years and the kids have been for months - we've had a rough few years and now we are working toward some normality - well our form of normality :)

Another thing about me that may seem a little weird is that I really enjoy reading M/M romances, mysteries, novels. I love reading about the self discovery of gay men and the loving relationships that evolve in fiction. I have a few favorite authors and I may from time to time write a bit about what I'm reading. I read a lot and I write a little. I also enjoy gay movies and storylines in soap operas. Those may get mentioned from time to time as well.

I also knit and sew and I will try to post about finished projects when I actually get around to finishing them. I'm teaching my daughter to sew right now and she's taking to it like a fish to water. I'm very proud of her.

This is me - this is my life. It's a good life most of the time, but there are bumps in the road. I'm learning the bumps are not the end of the road, they are just lessons along the journey. I'll try to be as honest as I can. I hope you will find something of interest as I share my journey with all of you.

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