Just Do It

Step One - We admitted we were powerless over food - that our lives had become unmanageable.

That about sums it up. I'm on day 10 of abstinence and still food holds an un-natural sway over me. I think about sugar A LOT. I know my body is addicted and I know that living a journey of recovery is the only way I (emphasis on I here) will survive. It's the only way I will find my way back to health.

There are so many ways my life has become unmanageable. Since I've begun back on the road to recovery I've set up a schedule for myself and I'm sticking to it. I do yoga 3 times a week, meditate for at least 10 minutes every morning, edit for an average of 2-3 hours a day, write on my blog every day, knit every day working on getting some projects done and spend more time on the girl's homeschooling. This week, I've added a daily online OA meeting to help me keep focused and some cardio exercise to help get me more in shape. All in all life is definitely getting more manageable.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was sitting blankly sitting at my computer doing nothing - staring into space thinking about what I should be doing or what I could be eating. Do I still have moments of staring? Sure, but now they are moments not long blocks of time. I'm also spending more time thinking about my spirituality and practicing meditation and prayer bringing me closer to my Higher Power.

Why I have this messed up relationship with food? Well that's pretty complicated; I could probably speak to that for hours and there is definitely a place in my life for that knowledge. But recovery is action - as the old Nike advertisement used to say - 'Just Do It' - that's what I'm doing. I'm putting aside my excuses, my procrastination and I'm just doing it. I'm exercising, I'm praying, I'm planning my meals and tracking my food, I'm reading OA and AA literature, I'm attending meetings, and I'm avoiding all sugar. I'm 'Just Doing It' and it feels great.