Turning my will over to my Higher Power does not mean I'm no longer taking responsibility for my life. It means simple that I'm trying to align myself with the focus of the Universe. To me that means Love.
Love is the primary purpose of all creation. I truly believe this. All things come from love and return to love. I need more love in my life - I think we all do.
One of my greatest struggles is love of self. I fear being selfish more than anything and I struggle with the concept of self love not being selfish. In order to show kindness, compassion and love to others unconditionally, I need to have love for myself. In essence in order to be unselfish I need to love myself. That is where it all starts.
Ultimately what it comes down to, is that my Higher Power loves me unconditionally even when I'm messing up - even in the worst of my compulsive eating, my Goddess was with me loving me and supporting me - I just didn't acknowledge it. Who am I to be so self centered as to think that my Higher Power is wrong and shouldn't love me. I was created to be a being of love and light. I love others for their potential why do I inside on hating myself.
I love me and that is a selfless act - it makes life for all those around me better, because it allows me to love them.
I will not apologize for my self love and I will probably not stop struggling with it - I've been conditioned to believe that my defects of character and my mistakes make me unloveable. This isn't so - I can still love me - it's imperative for me to love me more because I need love to over come those defects of character and to learn from those mistakes.
So for today, I will forgive myself and I will take time to love myself.