Monday, March 31, 2014

a daily decision

Okay - step 3 - "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the the care of God as we understood Him" (or in my case Her)

This is an active step. I need to make a decision and that can be hard for me - especially the thought of giving up that much control of my life. I spend so much of my time taking responsibility not only for my own actions, but the actions of others. If there is a way to, I will take the blame. This step seems like a cop out to me. I give my will and life over to my Goddess, but but but - there are no buts to this step.

I'm the one taking this step - I'm the one making the decisions, so I'm not ducking out of my responsibility - I'm facing my responsibility and making the decision that will lead me to serenity, acceptance, peace, and ultimately abstinence.

I do this step every morning during my meditation time. I start by praying and giving this day - giving my will over to my Higher Power. I make this decision anew every day knowing that abstinence and serenity are some of the things my Higher Power wants for me. I trust - I surrender - giving myself over to something greater than myself. It's an empowering and peaceful moment for me every morning. Then I try to empty my mind and just listen. Some days I'm more successful than others.

This is a decision that I have to make every day sometimes more than once in a day if I find myself wandering off my path. I pull myself back with prayer to my Higher Power and somehow it becomes easier to do the right thing.

I'm called for this to be a lifelong journey, so I have to stop looking ahead and thinking what if. I need to just focus on one day at a time and let my Goddess take care of tomorrow.

Today I give my will and myself over to you dear Morrigan to do as you will. Bless me and keep me strong as I battle my addiction alongside you. Blessed be.

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